Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
