you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
