Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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