your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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