idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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