trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
