First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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