Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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