i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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