I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
