At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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