Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
