I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
