NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
