hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
