she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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