She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
