there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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