I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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