I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
