pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
