I cannot find my penis.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
