he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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