I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This couple is walking their pig around campus
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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