So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
