just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
