whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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