i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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