Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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