Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
