How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
