wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
