So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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