yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
