My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
