new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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