I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
