I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
