I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
