doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
