honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
