just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
