dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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