Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
