so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
