There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
