Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
