When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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