I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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