we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
